"Smile – It Might Never Happen"

by Anne Matthews – Baby Body Language Expert & Coach
www.wholesomelyconnected.com

I remember often hearing the phrase, "Smile – it might never happen!" as a little girl. I didn’t really understand what it meant, but I do remember how it made me feel—awkward, confused, and just a little bit ashamed.

People would comment that I was “a serious child” or “too sensitive.” My mother, often within earshot, would explain to others that I was “highly strung.” These descriptions stuck. And they stung.

Looking back, I realise now these comments were more than throwaway lines. They were forms of objectification. Labels. Misunderstandings.

What those adults didn’t see—what many don’t—is that sensitive children aren’t broken. They’re attuned. And what may have sounded like harmless teasing or helpful observation often landed as judgment without empathy.

If I had the words back then, I might have replied, “Maybe it’s not that I’m too sensitive. Maybe you’re too harsh.”

Now, as a holistic practitioner of nearly four decades, working with parents and their young children, I can see how this old rhetoric still lingers in the background—judgments passed on in moments of stress or worry:
“He’s so lazy.”
“She’s always clingy.”
“He’s just not focused.”
“She’s got such a temper.”

But what I see is different. I see the story behind the behaviour.

Through the lens of Baby Body Language and early imprints, I help parents understand that a child’s behaviour isn’t a fault—it’s a message. Often, that message is: “I don’t feel safe right now.”
Whether it’s a baby waking through the night to climb into your bed, or a child hesitating at the school gate—these aren’t habits to “break.” They’re calls for co-regulation, for connection, for safety.

So instead of asking, “How do I stop this?”
Ask, “What is my child trying to tell me?”

Babies don’t need to be sleep trained. They need to be deeply understood. Their nervous system is still learning how to regulate itself. That means they lean into you—their secure base—for safety.

Every day, in small, subtle ways, children are asking:
Do you hear me?
Do you see me?
Do I matter?

When we respond with compassion instead of control, we nourish their growing nervous system—and our relationship with them.

Let’s rewrite the script from “too sensitive” to deeply intuitive, from “too clingy” to seeking safety, from “bad habits” to needs not yet met.

You are your child’s safe place—and that is powerful.

✨ Follow me for more soulful insights and tools to help you interpret and respond to your child’s cues with compassion and connection.
Course launching soon at www.wholesomelyconnected.com

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With love and insight,
Anne Matthews