The Power of Touch, the Gift of Connection: What This Season Really Teaches Our Children
As we step into the Christmas season, many of us are thinking about gifts — the giving, the receiving, the wrapping, the unwrapping… and sometimes the stress that goes with it!
But underneath all the glitter and bustle lies something much deeper:
Connection.
Belonging.
Being thought of.
Being held — emotionally or physically.
Even the act of giving a simple gift is often an invitation for closeness. A hug. A smile. A moment of “I see you.”
And yes… while Christmas sometimes gets lost in the noise of consumerism (we’ve all been there!), there’s something beautifully human underneath it all:
our nervous system’s longing for touch, warmth, and reassurance.
As someone who has spent 39 years working with babies, children, and parents — helping families understand Baby Body Language and the early imprints from pregnancy, birth, and the first 1000 days — I can tell you with certainty:
Touch is not a luxury.
It’s a biological need.
A survival language.
Before babies understand words, they understand presence through touch — especially through soft, gentle, slow strokes that reassure them, “You’re safe. You belong. Stay close.”
This is why hugs matter.
This is why hand-holding matters.
This is why we keep returning to the comfort of physical closeness at Christmas.
And here’s the part I find magical — and humbling:
The same kind of nurturing touch that calms a newborn… calms adults too.
Science has caught up with what parents, doulas, and grandmothers have known forever.
A beautiful study by Püschel and her team (2022) looked at a special type of touch — the sort that uses slow, gentle strokes along the skin. This activates what are known as C-tactile fibres — nerve endings designed specifically for emotional, comforting touch.
And what happens in babies when this kind of touch is used?
Their little hearts slow down and steady.
Their stress responses soften.
They breathe more easily.
They settle.
Their whole nervous system exhales.
This isn’t just “nice touch.”
This is the body’s original safety code.
And if you’re thinking, “Does this apply to adults too?” — absolutely.
Our bodies never outgrow the need to feel safe with another human.
So this Christmas, as you’re giving gifts, cuddling your children, or welcoming family through the door, try keeping this in mind:
✨ Every gentle touch is a message.
✨ Every hug supports regulation.
✨ Every moment of closeness shapes a child’s imprint of safety and belonging.
And if your child becomes dysregulated with all the excitement (or overwhelm!) this season can bring, remember:
🌿 Reading their Baby Body Language will guide you.
They’ll show you what they need — comfort, connection, a moment of grounding — long before they have the words to say so.
Wishing you warmth, presence, and meaningful connection this season.
With love,
Anne
